If someone had told me that one of the hardest parts of healing would be praying for people who hurt me, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. I wanted justice. I wanted answers. I wanted apologies that never came and probably never will. The last thing I wanted to do was ask God to bless someone who had caused me pain.
As I grow closer to God, I realize that praying for the people who hurt me isn’t about pretending everything is okay. It isn’t about excusing what they did or inviting them back into my life. It isn’t about forgetting the pain. It is about allowing God to heal my heart, so bitterness doesn’t become another burden to carry.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44 9 (NLT) “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” If I’m honest, that’s one of the hardest commands in Scripture for me to follow. My natural response is to replay what happened and hold on to the hurt. But Jesus calls me to something greater than my feelings. He calls me to freedom.
When I first started praying for those who hurt me, my prayers weren’t polished. Sometimes all I could say was, “God, I don’t want to pray for this person, but I’m willing to let You help me.” I believe God honors honesty. He already knows what’s in my heart, and healing began when I stopped pretending I was okay. Healing isn’t always quick, and I share more about that in Faith and Therapy: Why Both Can Work Together.
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Praying for someone doesn’t mean I have to trust them again or remove healthy boundaries. Some relationships can be restored, while others cannot. I can forgive someone and still choose to protect my peace. Boundaries are not a lack of forgiveness; they are often an act of wisdom.
When I pray for the person who hurt me, I don’t ask God to ignore what they did. Instead, I ask Him to work in their heart just as He’s working in mine. I pray that they would come to know Him, experience conviction, and find healing. Hurt people often hurt others, and while that never excuses sin, it reminds me that everyone needs God’s grace—including me.
I’ve discovered that praying changes me more than it changes the other person. I may never know if they become different, but I know I become less controlled by anger. The hurt slowly loses its grip as I continue bringing it before God. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every prayer is another step toward peace.
Romans 12:19 (NLT) states: “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord.” This reminds me not to seek revenge but to leave justice in God’s hands. That verse has brought me so much comfort because it reminds me that I don’t have to make everything right. God sees every tear, every betrayal, and every injustice. I can trust Him to handle what I cannot.
Praying for someone who hurt me also reminds me how much I need God’s forgiveness. While my mistakes may look different from theirs, I still depend on His mercy every day. Remembering that keeps my heart humble and points me back to the cross, where grace is offered to all of us.
If you’re struggling to pray for someone who hurt you, know that you don’t have to have the right feelings before you begin. Start with honesty. Tell God exactly where you are and ask Him to soften your heart over time. He is patient, and He understands the struggle.
Today, I don’t pray because the pain never existed. I pray because I don’t want that pain to define my future. I want God’s peace to be bigger than my resentment and His love to be stronger than my wounds. Choosing to pray doesn’t change what happened, but it changes me. As I continue placing my hurt into God’s hands, I find freedom little by little, and I discover that His healing is always deeper than my pain.
Many Blessings,
Lisa Marie
Continue Your Healing Journey
If this post encouraged you, you may also enjoy:
- Faith and Therapy: Why Both Can Work Together
- 10 Bible Verses for Depression
- Depression Is Not a Spiritual Failure: A Christian Perspective on Depression
- 10 Christian Songs That Help Me Through Difficult Seasons
Faith. Hope. Healing.
You are never alone ✝︎
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Hi! I’m Lisa!
I’m so glad you’re here. I created She Rises Above to encourage women walking through anxiety, depression, and life’s difficult seasons with the hope we have in Christ. I write from both my own experiences and my faith, believing that God meets us with grace, hope, and healing. My prayer is that every article points you closer to Jesus and reminds you that you are deeply loved and never alone.
