I’ve been asked a few times why I wanted to start a blog. I’ve even asked myself why I wanted to start blogging, and publically no less. I wrestled with the thought to start blogging for some time. I went back and forth between the positives and the negatives of putting myself out there publically. I will be the first to admit that I battle with the fear of judgment, so why in the world would I want to openly talk about my life? In flooded the “what if” questions. What if someone leaves me a negative comment? What if I write something and someone takes it personally? What if I sound silly? What if I don’t write the “right” things? What if no one bothers to read anything I write? I asked myself a ton of these negative “what if” questions….until I finally stopped and thought, what if the exact opposite of all of those things happens? What if…
I decided to pray about writing a blog. I needed to seek guidance in making the decision to do something that I felt was important to me. The question was, is it important in the eyes of God? I had started a blog many months ago and quickly shut it down. I believe at that point it was me just wanting to do the blog just to give me something to do. It wasn’t the right time and I shut it down and gave up on the idea of it. Out of nowhere, it seems, that spark was reignited and I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. So I chose to lean on God and not myself this time. Ultimately I felt led to begin this blog and share my stories, thoughts, feelings, and experiences. God placed it in my heart to do this and although I still struggled with the thought, I stepped out in faith and began my blog.
My biggest reason for wanting to blog is I want to give hope to other people. I have been a young girl/woman who was online many of nights feeling depressed and suicidal and I was looking for was a sense of hope. I want to be that hope for people out there. If it’s just one person then that is enough for me. If I reach one person then I have done what I have ultimately wanted to do. Another reason I wanted to begin blogging was to help myself through my own journey of life. I love to write and find it to be very therapeutic. I also believe writing is a great way to get out what is on my mind. I don’t want just some journal where I complain about things and everything is just negative. I have enough of those. I think with blogging I can get things off my mind in more of a positive way than just simply writing it down in a book that only I will see. I want to share my experiences, both positive and negative. I know many people can relate to me as I have related to others. Therefore I know I am not alone in this world, although I often feel that way. I want others to know that they are not alone either.
I read this quote the other day and it really solidified for me why I want to do this blog and keep it going. One day I hope to inspire someone else. One day I hope to be a reason that someone else didn’t give up. One day I hope my words touch the hearts and souls of others in such a way that their lives will never be the same again. I have a long way to go and I am in my own process of healing and learning. My goal is just to share that process with others who need a sense of hope or a feeling that someone else can relate to them. We all struggle with things in our day to day lives. We all have a past, a story. I am just willing to share mine at this point in my life and chose to do so through blogging. God has led me to it and I plan to follow through.
Another quote I had found online a long time ago was, “Be the person you needed when you were younger.” That is my goal, to be that person for someone. Doing this blog is a baby step in that direction and I will get there one day. I’m hopeful.